Top 10 Brian Regan Jokes

medium_89598708My husband and I had the fabulous opportunity to see Brian Regan at Tuacahn, in St. George, Utah last week. Brian Regan has been a favorite comedian of ours for some time, and we loved seeing him live. Of course, I can’t make it nearly as entertain for you, but here’s my list of Brian Regan’s top ten jokes from that night:

10 ~ Trying to want to read a book.

Apparently, Brian isn’t the biggest fan of books. He joked about how he would get himself settled into bed, the covers just right, the pillows propping his head perfectly, and the lamp on. His book would be in his hands, and yet, he’d just end up staring at the ceiling until he went to sleep. I had to mention this since books are my life! (My livelihood as well as my passion.)

9 ~ Guns

This whole section was hilarious, but the part I’m going to highlight is how Brian said he didn’t understand the difference between an assault rifle, and a non-assault rifle. If I tried to repeat his jokes in this segment, they would fall flat. You should try to find him talking about guns on YouTube and watch it. Regan goes into some fast paced talking as he imitates someone listing the differences between the two. He was so good at it! I’m positive I would have been tongue-tied if I’d tried to say the same thing just as fast.

8 ~ The word hair.

Very short joke, but it made it on my list because, as a writer, I love to make fun of the English language and all of its rules. So, Brian talked about how you can have one hair, multiple hairs, or a head full of hair. The tenses used for the word hair seem to be contrary.

7 ~ Food combinations.

Regan spoke about how he’s trying to lose weight. When he mentioned it to a friend, the buddy’s wife jumped in with advice about food combinations. “To lose weight, you just need to combine the right foods. For instance, spaghetti and meatballs are not a good combination and won’t help you lose weight. But if you combine plankton and lemon peel, that will help you to lose the weight.” LOL! Maybe this one struck a chord for me since I’m constantly trying to diet. Brian said that his response was to go out and buy doughnuts. (The trick is to not combine the doughnut with anything else!)

6 ~ The word spree.

(Another word joke!) Regan stated that the word spree is only used in two actions: a shopping spree, or a killing spree. So if someone says they’re going out for a spree, you may want to clarify exactly which kind of spree they’re referring to. 😉

5 ~ Negative campaigning.

You can probably guess what he said about this, but it was hilarious to listen to!

4 ~ Reward cards

Ever get sick of people asking you if you have a rewards card when you’re trying to buy from their store? I know I am, and it sounds like Brian is, too.

3 ~ Dancing

Regan speculated on how dancing came about in the first place. Were the cave men just tired of standing around, and so they started pushing each other in the middle of a circle to move about and entertain others?

2~ Shadow polo

This is my favorite, but what makes it so funny is to see Brian showing you his shadow boxing and shadow polo. He was making fun of how some men try to greet him at parties because it looks like they’re shadow dancing up to him or something. So he reciprocates with shadow polo or boxing.

Now for the number one joke! You ready?

1 ~ Top Ten

Brian made a joke about how all you have to do to make your article or blog popular is by writing up a top ten of… well, anything. So I decided to write a top ten of his jokes. Brian, I have taken the challenge!

What are some of your favorite jokes? Whether they be by Brian Regan or another comedian?

photo credit: Malingering via photopin cc

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